Dear Mr. Sinclair,

Because I have TiVo, I rarely watch commercials now. I used to hate commercials and dreaded the moment they graced my screen. Occasionally I'll catch a commercial and I am baffled in the things they try to sell us these days but most of all, how they market it. Now, some are purely brilliant. I will never forget Zoom Zoom. You know EXACTLY what commercial I'm talking about. If I were to ever get a car, I would immediately whisper zoom zoom. Now, that doesn't mean I'll buy a Mazda. (Yes, it's a Mazda commercial) But, they sure have made their way into my subconscious. Now I caught another commercial today that just about turned my stomach. It was a Tanqueray Gin commercial. A character named "Tony Sinclair," sporting mini-dreadlocks and a gap-toothed smile, debuts this week in commercials for the Diageo brand where he gives tips on cocktail party etiquette and serves as a foil for the usually posh tone of spirits marketing. They're at a party and you hear something like "ready to tanqueray. Always in moderation". I heard the word moderation and turned to my TV only to find a man standing in front of the hors d'oeuvres staring at the Shrimp Cocktail serving. This was a large plate of shrimp and the entire commercial is clips of him eating and eating. Just hoarding the shrimp cocktail. Grabbing at these shrimp like it's his last day on earth. I don't like seafood let alone watching someone consume an endless amount of it. In a matter of seconds, this commercial has turned my stomach but I was fixated and couldn't bring myself to hit the fast forward button on my TiVo. Tony Sinclair then appears. This man has the worst British accent and is just another version of Austin Powers but this time with dreads. He says something about the shrimp COCKTAIL. Like every COCKTAIL, it should be done in moderation. "I'm Tony Sinclair. Ready to Tanqueray?" My whole point of this story is to tell you that this commercial is not selling anything! Who would want to buy Tanqueray Gin knowing that they're just going to vomit up an entire plate of shrimp cocktail? Makes me more repulsed by the brand actually. I know they want these commercials to "stick in your head" so that when you go to the liquor store, you think what gin shall I buy today? I know, TANQUERAY. No thank you, Tony Sinclair, I'll pass.